I have to admit that I am still not used to this journey through life with chronic health issues. I go along and have a week or 2 feeling pretty good and then wham I am hit with a flare or chronic pain so bad I can't do much of anything .
I guess I somehow think that I will keep on feeling good, even though I know that is never the case. It is hard some times when days go by and i am stil not feeling good and I sit and think of all the things I could be doing. It gets depressing at times and frustrating.
I sometimes have to force myself to simply do something. Anything. Pray, read my bible, or write. These are the lonely times for me.
These are the times I need to remember, “Fear not, I am with you.” I repeat to myself over and over “This too shall pass,” “I'm going to be ok.,” “God is in control.”
Hard to believe at times? Most certainly. Do I always believe the words I say to myself? To be honest – no – at least not at first. But as I repeat them to myself, as I focus less and less on me and more and more on who is in control, it gets easier. Easy? No. Easier. Yes.
I find that the place I chose to focus gets the most attention. Do I focus on the pain, the things left undone, the difficulties? Well, if I do, it doesn’t help. I have found that out for sure.
If I focus on God, His promises, turn on music, read something positive, talk to someone who knows how I feel, and then just reassure myself that God is in control, it makes all the difference in the world.
Father God, I praise You that we have a friend who is always there and always cares: Even when the bottom drops out, Your everlasting hands are there. Amen and Amen. So be it, Lord!